UFO-01 Detector
1 Star Review by Stephen:
Ok, how do I explain? I’ve been picked up off and on during the years. Each time I’m picked up, I get probed. And not just by a little gray. And not just once or twice. The whole darn ship of ‘em line up to probe me. Repeatedly.
So, I bought this device, thinking that if it went off, I’d have time to escape to my lead-lined safe room, or at least grab a weapon. So what happened? Not what I expected. It didn’t give me any warning at all. The range is extremely limited. Only later did I see the disclaimer: “For best results, hold directly under saucer.”
Anyway, I woke up in the ship as I was being probed. And this stupid product was beeping. It kept beeping the whole time that I was being probed by every single crewman. Do you have any idea how annoying it can be to hear tinny beeping as you are being probed by a ship full of grays?
Worst of all, the company would not give me a refund.
5 Star Review by Patricia:
Truly, (and I DO mean truly!), I have seen just one UFO in my life. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon — broad daylight! — and the sky was a bright, bright blue. No clouds in the sky at all. I happened to be lying down in bed, then, (backward — my head was at the foot of the bed), and looking out the window, thinking of nothing in particular. Suddenly, I saw this HUGE flying saucer go through the sky right outside my window! It was golden, and was shaped somewhat like a bicycle wheel — a solid middle section, with spokes, that led to the circumference section. (Someone who I told this to, remarked that it sounded like the Biblical Eziekel’s “Wheel in a Wheel”. I suppose it was.) I wanted to grab my camera — but I forgot where I had put it. So, I just stared at the thing as it went quickly through the sky. In about a minute, it had disappeared. I didn’t know what to do — so I did nothing. I didn’t even call the Air Force or anything, and sadly, I don’t now remember the day that it happened. But it DID happen. A UFO flying throught the skies of NorthEast Queens, NY!(Anyone else seen one there? When?)
If I had then had the UFO detector, here offered, I might have been prepared, and so would have looked for, (and hopefully FOUND), my camera before the UFO arrived. Well, I didn’t have it then, so the opportunity was lost. I haven’t seen any since then, either. Also, (sadly), my budget is a bit tight now, so any buying of UFO detectors will have to wait a while for me. However, I DO intend to put this item on my “Wish List”, so that, should I ever have enough money, I’ll be reminded to buy it! (Or maybe one of my friends will give it to me for my birthday — I hope!)
NOTE; Here is a funny saying I once saw printed on a T-Shirt: ‘U.F.O.s ARE REAL. THE AIR-FORCE DOESN’T EXIST.” (Hmmm…my first cousin’s husband was an Air Force Major, and he was a REALLY nice guy, so maybe the above should be taken for comical purposes, only….)
But, I’ve also gotten to thinking: If this item can really detect the approach of U.F.O.s of one sort, (Unidentified Flying Objects), could it not also detect, in advance, the arrival of U.F.O.s of another sort? I speak here of UNIFORMED FEDERAL OFFICERS! No — I haven’t broken any laws, (yet, anyway), and, (especially as I am proudly a lawyer’s daughter), sincerely hope never to do so. Or
have to do so. But you can never tell what NEW laws state and federal legislators may decide to pass. Will it someday be illegal to leave a light on in a room one is not occupying, (and will there be sensors attached to every room, to alert authorities of this?) Will the non-and-or-late-return of library books someday involve not only paying a fine, but an escalating number of days in jail, depending on how late the books are returned? (And — what about those tags I took off, from the pillows I bought in former years, when the words, “This Tag May Not Be Removed, Under Penalty Of Law”, were printed on every single pillow tag — (without the very recently added words: “….except by the consumer.”) Is this a “grandfathered” law? Even if the “Pillow Police” have been disbanded for recent transgressions — or is that, recent non-transgressiosn — do the tags I so thoughtlessly and carelessly took off pillows in former years, still count as crimes? Are the “Pillow Police” even now after me for so thoughtlessly and unlawfully taking tags off those many pillows for most of my life? (PLEASE don’t tell them you saw this admission in my review, here, folks!)Hmm….maybe I SHOULD buy this U.F.O. detector — right now! I may never see another “Unidentfied Flying Object”, in my life….but you can never, never tell when those “Uniformed Federal Officers” will show up!
P.S.: I AM EAGERLY AWAITING THE NEXT PROMISED PRODUCT FROM THIS MANUFACTURER: THE WORLD’S FIRST WORKING PORTABLE, POCKET TIME MACHINE! I HOPE YOU ARE, TOO!
