Jesus Plasters
5 Star Review from Glenn Williams
Sometimes advances in medicine take your breath away (but luckily my Jesus Inhaler is never too far away when they do).
5 Star Review by Lewton Wicks
I found this guy in a cave, with holes in his hands, and luckily I had some Jesus plasters on me. Applying the plasters at first didn’t seem to do anything, but suddenly this dude just gets up and walks out. Didn’t say thank you. Rude.
5 Star Review from L. Hennesey
As a semi-professional nurse attending an Accident and Emergency ward in a large London hospital, I was constantly frustrated by the limitations of the technology we were using to treat patients.
As the economy turned towards recession and departmental funding started to be reduced, our managers started looking for ways to make cuts – at first it was small items: no coffee-making facilities in the kitchens; toilet rolls instead of swabs – that sort of thing.
Fortunately this little box saved the day – soon after the x-ray machine was dispensed with, one of our staff stumbled across it as they were sweeping up patient detritus in the waiting room. Coincidentally, he had just cut his finger on a discarded scalpel and gladly made use of them as quickly as he could.
To all our amazement, when he peeled off the plaster to show us the gory details, there was NO WOUND AT ALL. It wasn’t long before we put two and two together; now we use these little beauties for everything! Broken leg? Stick on a plaster! Funny rash – slap it on! Annoying voices in your head telling you to kill and bury the dog in the back garden? place one of these on your forehead and they’re a thing of the past.
They not only provide the user with breathable padding, but also lend a sense of one-ness with the universe.
And don’t worry about the pack running out – we’ve treated over 40 patients tonight, but strangely only one plaster has gone.
This could be the answer to the problem of the NHS. Thanks Amazon!
